I'm just a girl

2007-03-02T11:10:00.000-08:00

The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'.

Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

2006-11-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

The last one month has been the toughest in her life.. this 21 years old girl is a full-time student and full-time worker.. this impossible lifestyle soon drives her crazy.. it seems like everyone expects more and more from her..

her colleagues expect her to be all professional and sophisticated.. she's not.. she's just a girl..
her groupmates expect her to be all reliable and FREE.. while she doesn't even have enough time for herself
her boyfriend expects her to be happy... she's not.. for without him.. what is happiness
and as if it is not enough, her landlord, teachers, they all make her life even harder..

what's a girl to do.. she's only 21.. and the world has fallen on her shoulder..

that poor girl is me.. it seems like I have everything.. and yet I feel empty.. My life is just range of deadlines.. my mind is full of these things that I have to accomplish.. to meet everyone's expectation. I'm tired.. I want to quit..

However, my boyfriend never failed to remind me of how lucky I am.. to have all this.. people waited their whole life to get their dream job.. while I got it rather quickly and almost hassle free. I have been blessed.. and I should be grateful..

I just hope that I can cope with all the pressures around me..

Like a star

2006-10-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel of the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands
Only to love you

Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
You do it all the time
Blowing out my mind

You've got this look I can't describe
You make me feel I'm alive
When everything else is a fake
Without a doubt you're by my side
Heaven has been way too long
Can't find the words to write this song
Oh love

I have come to understand the way it is
Its not a secret anymore
Cos we've been through that before
From tonight I know that you're the only one
I've been confused and in the dark
Now I understand..

I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
I wonder why it is I won't let my guard down
For anyone but you
You do it all the time
Blowing out my mind

Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel of the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same

Today

2006-09-30T01:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote my last blog. Partly because I don't have any inspiration of what to write / publish, partly because I'm afraid of people's judgement.. what if I write sth very stupid, or worse, boring? I also think lately that I have become more and more introvert.. I keep everything to myself. Experience so precious that I'd like to keep for myself, and everything ordinary would be too chessy to write here.

Then what is left to say here? Nothing else..

But this morning after I read some of my closest friends' blog, I suddenly feel the urge to write again.. Just some quick update of what I've been doing lately.. nothing much actually.. school stuff and work.. that's it.. that's what I do everyday. I'm not gonna blather in much details about these stuff cause if I do, I'll get tired of it myself..

Just before I go, I'll leave some thought:

EAT, DRINK, and BE MERRY, for TOMORROW we die..

Make the most of opportunities because life is short and time is fleeting.

PS: and top of the reason why I don't like blogging is that I don't have sophisticated IT skills, my blog is just plain boring.. but now I realized that nobody cares. It's MY BLOG.. and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. Love it or leave it

2006-05-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

Simple calorie-adding steps to any Diet

2006-04-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Reader, I want to gain at least 5 more kilos before I go home this summer!! So that my parents wouldn't think that I live miserable here.. or even worse.. bulimic?? NO!! So if you happen to know how to gain weight in a healthy way.. please let me know to add my list below, )

* Put the cheese on your sandwich and gain 200 calories
* Use mayonnaise instead of mustard and gain 100 calories
* Use regular salad dressing instead of fat free salad dressing and gain 100 calories
* Drink regular sodas instead of water (plain, flavored, or seltzer) and gain 150 calories
* Switch from English muffin to bagel in the morning to gain 200 calories
* Switch from turkey sandwich to deli tuna sandwich to to gain 250 calories
* Drink that second glass of wine in the evening to gain 100 calories more
* Eat the skin from a cooked chicken breast to add 100 calories (3 letters.. K.F.C)

What's more, weight gainers should fancy:
* coffee drinks
* large mocha frappucinno (over than 400 calories)
* premium ice cream

Who would've thought that gaining weight can be this yummy !! (List to be updated if the diet succeed)

a girl can always dream!!

2006-03-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

Someday somewhere the right man will love you even in your rattiest jeans and T-shirt.

At the beginning

2006-02-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

We were strangers.. starting out on a journey.. never dreaming what we'd have to go through.. Now here we are I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you.. Unexpected what you did to my heart.. When I lost hope.. You were there to remind me.. This is the start

do we all live to be loved??

2006-02-09T10:04:00.000-08:00

do we live to be liked? that's the question that has been going around in my head today. I don't get the point why are people trying so hard to be liked by others.
Ok.. maybe the people who know me will say that maybe u r antisocial.. that's why u don't care.. but anyway..that's not the point.

This afternoon in the lunch hour, my colleague V tried to figured out which group in the office excludes her and decides to never help them again.. and which group in the office includes her.. she's so happy about finally being included in one group.
Me personally, all I want is simple life.. why do u want to complicate matters at work? work sucks.. don't make it more complicated.. meet the same people everyday.. I mean we don't have to be close friend.. but at least not enemies...

This groups thing at my work really annoys me.. this group chooses to eat at certain time, they don't want to eat together with the other group.. another group goes to burger king every lunch.. exclusively.. and will only bring food for the people they like.. and so on.. whatever.. maybe someday if I feel inspired I will start to make my own group.. the anti-group.. lol.. and I think I'm gonna have my lunch alone..

Like I care.. but back to my question before.. Do we all live to be liked? to be loved? Am I the only one who don't give a damn about it?? Well actually I used to care so much about this things.. but people just let me down all the time.. so I've now realized that you can't control people to like you.

I must admit that I'm not everyone's favorite.. But at least I try to treat people decently.. and further.. I can't control their opinion.. or favor..

Even though sometimes it hurts to see people you care about treat you badly.. But that's life, shit happens all the time.. And trust me if you've been experienced this long enough. you will have the same feeling just like me..

Confession of an intern

2006-01-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Anyone think that working in Sun Chemical is good experience?? Well most of the time yes, but now I must say that I am not enjoying it as much as usual. The pressure on me is getting bigger and bigger.. Now it's the point where I feel like I'm gonna explode.

Cause I made a stupid mistake. A stupid tiny mistake.
And now here I am.. spending my weekend worrying about it.
This makes me realize how much I care about my job.

But this is not just about this stupid mistake.. I guess there must be something else going on. Something behind it that's just bigger than this. That makes my supervisor close his door the entire day.. hell he even took his lunch to his room, avoiding anyone else.

What did I do??? Was it because of me?? Am I the one to blame?? I'll have the answer on Monday. I don't know whether this is the right approach to take. But somehow I just feel like I have to know, and face it. Better than pretend that nothing has happened right.. Right now I'm just hoping that I will have the courage to do that.

Next week I'm gonna sort of a lot of thing that has been postponed for some time. If I can pass next week. The rest will be easier. Now all I need is a good sleep. To face the war tomorrow.. LOL :)

dusseldorf............. we're coming !!!

2005-06-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

ceileeeeeeeeee... akhirnya.. jadi juga liburan sama anak2 rumah. Susahnya ampun2 deh ngatur jadwalnya anak2 rumah. Serasa business women aja, pergi cuman day retour gitu lho.. rencana2 dari jaman kapan, baru tgl 10 ini bakalan terealisasi (amin..). Pertamanya agak kecewa juga sih.. kenapa musti dusseldorf. Ke milan kek, barcelona kek.. apa yah paling ngga berlin lah.. Tapi apa mau dikata, krn time n money constraints, akhirnya kita semua hrs puas dgn dusseldorf.

Tp skrg aku bener2 excited ni mau pergi ke dusseldorf, abisnya aku cerita2 sama colleague ku ttg rencana liburan nih. Dia bilang dusseldorf itu, kotanya fashion, kayak Paris, n Milan juga.. Bener gak sih teman2?? (yg udah pernah ke sana nih..).. Aku si belum pernah, kenapa ya? padahal klo dipikir2 cuman 2 jam, bisa tiap weekend donk ke sana. hehehe.. colleague ku tu malah bilang dia klo mulai beli odol sampe cat rambut, mesti pergi ke jerman.. lebih murah.. (gila ngga sih..) trus cerita2 deh dia ttg keindahan nya dusseldorf ni. Pokoknya jadi pingiiiin de ke sana. Can't hardly wait !!

2005-05-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Finally.. Just got my ticket home yesterday.. I miss home so so so much. Can't wait to see my famz and friendz back home.. These few months have been the busiest day for me.. and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of school.. of the assignments.. of the stupid projects.. and these 2 weeks is my EXAM week.

U wanna know what I did during this study weeks..... sleep and sleep all the time, (hibernation mode on..) hiks.. i supposed to be studying this weekend, since i already asked week off from work.. At least i have to do sth useful, u know .
ok.. just 2 more week, i need to study hard, and then bye2 school.

Lord, help me remember that nothing will happen today that we can't handle together

internship story

2005-04-23T03:36:00.000-07:00

After I got the job offer.. I just realized that it's not the end of my worries. Still I need to provide several documents to process the work permit. The problem is I don't have my ID card.. it has been stolen in January.. along with my lovely guess wallet.. huhuhuhu... i'm so stressed up man, I promised the company to give it all the documents on monday.hiks.. If I'm lucky, i can give it on wednesday..

but still.. I'm worried coz I don't have my ID card... I hope that in the end everything's gonna turn out fine. I'm not the smartest or brightest girl.. but I'm one of the luckiest girl in the world.. Like suddenly in the end my problem will turn out to be quite ok. Well, it happens a lot of times, *finger crossed* hopefully this time too.

dear diary

2005-04-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

oh god.. i can't make any meaningful post now.. hehe.. in fact, none of my post was meaningful.. just a typical girl's diary. hm.. next time i should make thoughtful posts that can make the readers thinking.. or read sth actually useful from my blog.

But meantime.. I'm really really sleepy.. don't feel like doing anything.. And here I am, sitting in front of computer.. make useless post again.. waiting till i have to go to work at 4. well, it's most likely that my brain stops working at daytime.. I need to take a nap.. I wanna sleep.. Last night I slept at 3.30, and woke up at 8 or so...... it's because that mr bagong !!!!!! i hate bagong

last night I was really pissed, my colleague mr bagong at work suddenly said that he didn't want to work with me anymore. And u know what's the reason?? it's because i catch him off guard, he stole or "accidentally" took the cash money in the cashier. Anyway, whatever the reason is, I don't care.. I'll do my work.. If 'he doesn't want to work with me.. that's his problem. And hey.. I'm the one that supposed to be angry at him.. he took the money.. I didn't make big deal out of it.. he should be grateful u know.

Last night me dita yudha and tata discussed about this.. I was pissed, yudha also.. cause now he's the one that have to work with that mr bagong.. cause actually nobody wants to work with him.. lol.. till now the problem hasn't over yet.. still have to wait till next week, to get the final decision......

whatever! I don't care. the most important thing is that I don't have to work with him anymore (amen..). Instead of sunday and wednesday.. maybe i will work monday and thursday.. that's why today I have to work again.. :-( hopefully my colleague will be nice this time..

another perfect day !!!!

2005-04-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

this is one of a few moments in my life.. where i feel like i'm not that stupid..
huehehe.. i finally got what i've always wanted.. and i'm so happy, period.

PS: i'm talking about my internship here.

IT freaks

2005-04-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Now we (julianaplantsoen girls) are all in the mood for IT, or u can say that we finally have another hobby beside than shopping. It's something useful and very exciting.. yep that's right.. I can now proclaim myself as an IT addict!!! huahahha... i'm serious here.. it's been 3 days in a row working on access shit. and these 2 weeks, not a day that passes by without thinkin of IT.
how cool is that? I mean we have a chance to set up a database system in a company (well, theoritically..) hm.. but I guess today it's not that fun anymore, cause this evening at 5 is the deadline. And I think our group hasn't even finished half yet. I might have to skip accounting class.. oh no.. this is the only useful class this semester. the others are all crap. But to finish this IT assignments.. say long goodbye to it.. One sacrifice has to be made.. lol.. i quote this from some1 else but I forgot who he is.

still believe in what you said, it's another perfect day..

* in a romantic mood *

2005-04-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Movies i'm definetely going to watch (if I have time). just love the quotes, so romantic..

* To me you are perfect --Love actually--

* I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible --When Harry meet Sally--

* I'm too tired not to be with you --High fidelity--

* You complete me --Jerry McGuire--

* I'll even let you hold the remote control --The wedding singer--

* I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all --10 Things I hate about you--

* Hey.. how about some coffee, or drinks, or dinner, or a movie.. for as long as we both shall live? --You've got mail--

* Fiona: I don't understand.. I supposed to be beautiful
Shrek: But.. you are beautiful.. --Shrek--

Aren;t those sweet? so girls.. take ur time to tell the love of ur life ur feeling for them. Meanwhile.. I will take my time to continue my ECO. goodluck!

just some school stuff going on

2005-04-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

So depressed with school works, a lot of pressure to find internship, busy with work, midterm exam. Life.. never felt as complicated as now.

wanna have my fourth year asap.. wanna have a long lazy holiday.. want to go back to country.. miss my mom and the food.

hm..... I think i can't come back to indo this summer.. I can imagine that my mom would be angry again.. give me half an hour lecture, telling me to go home.. But I just can't. I want to, but I can't. Seeing my internship prospect.. most probably gonna start during summer (if I can find one).

anyway i need to sleep now.. I have to go to work tomorrow.. and just for information ~~~~~~~~ I haven't touch my eco book AT ALL ! ~~~~~~~~ so shut up.. u giving me a headache

my so-called spring holiday

2005-03-21T16:22:00.000-08:00

2 weeks....... 3 projects, 3 coming exams, tons of homeworks, reports, logbooks, portfolio, work, nederland course.. perfect!!!!! no.. i'm in hell.. why?? why? i'm so tired of all these school stuffs. When can I finish all of these??? seems like a looong loong way to go.

Ideal spring break wishlist:
1. warm, sunshine
2. shopping girly things
3. beach
4. swimming
5. fitness, jogging
6. have a new haircut (or a new hair color would be nice )
7. take a cute dog for a walk
8. internship position! (yeah.. right..)

Total wishes= 8, Realized= 0 (so far..) hiks..

2005-03-20T14:34:00.000-08:00

pusing.......................................................................................................
PS: he called !!! finally the world seems oh so right. bye people.

Almost here

2005-03-05T00:26:00.000-08:00

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here

Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

And when I hold you
You're almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here

the longest day

2005-03-04T14:15:00.000-08:00

fiuh.... just passed one more friday. always like this.. so tired. than in the evening couldn't do anything except sleeping. alway friday is the hardest day in my timetable this semester. 3 classes in a row since 9 o'clock in the morning. Which mean I have to wake up at 7 or 8, due to the bathroom availability. And all the classes have one thing in common: boring boring boring. PD is about the bulshit about developing of ur inner self.. we don't need that, teacher!.. we will grow through life experiences.. not some theories that we have to read in the developing management book.. or filling in online tests.

next one is spanish, this lesson isn't supposed to be this boring. last year was far better. this is because of the teacher.. so.. how to say this.. a bit weird.. she's an espanola, but the problem is with her english, we can't understand her clearly.. always with accent, and often she mixed it with dutch.. oh god.. spanish already difficult.. just add some more dutch in it.. puerfect !! personally i think she's a nice person.. just she doesn't know how to teach. and me and my classmates always make fun of her english.. actually i feel bad about talking about her english.. it's not like my english is perfect.. but u know.. that's the only way to keep our eyes open during her lesson.

last one, economic.. it's a difficult subject.. and the teacher can't explain it in simple way.. always use a lot of complicated terms in economic (Md, Y, L, =PV).. what the hell.. sometimes he can explain just one simple topic for about half an hour and i swear i didn't even understand what he's talking about. this also because he's just too nice to the students. usually there will be some students that are very smart.. or stupid.. asking a lot of questions during his explanation.. and this.. would totally change the topic.. he would answer the question patiently.. until the student understand.. and then another student will ask him another question again.. So one simple topic.. can be very complicated.. the smartass want to know every detail.. and the clueless student will ask the same question over and over again.. makes us (the normal students) even more confused..

Well that is basically what i have to deal with every friday.. so tired of it.. and tonight i just sent my first CV.. got so nervous about internship these days.. most of my friends already start it last week.. after I sent it just tonight.. I feel a little bit relieve.. hehehe.. and sleepy.. ok, i continue my long lazy friday evening.. (I deserve it after all the hardworking from the morning!) lol.. watching movie, eat and sleep.. doei2.

2005-03-03T02:19:00.000-08:00

sinterklaas and sneeuwman

2005-03-03T01:56:00.000-08:00

my favourite pic of tata... mbot..!! bao bei..

2005-03-03T01:52:00.000-08:00

ini lagi ngapain to aku ?!#@

2005-03-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

snowy snowy night

2 march 2005

2005-03-03T01:11:00.000-08:00

Got stuck in the central last night.. After I finished work around 11.. There was no tram passed by the restaurant.. Then I had to walk to wesperplein metro, took metro (had to wait for paramedical team to finish their job.. there was someone got accident there) Next took train from central (had to wait for another half an hour, the train i supposed to take was cancelled).. What a snow story.. Didn't complain too much though..met a lot of funny people on the the way home.. and the snow yesterday was so beautiful.. warm and romantic??! well.. I know i'm not supposed to say this.. since a lot of people suffer, couldn't get back home, etc.. But i just felt that snow and night and blurry light are a perfect combination.
After I got home last night I said to my housemates that outside was so beautiful.. just like in the postcard we've always bought for christmas.. (hm.. we're just poor Indonesian people after all.. We never ever have snow in our country) Then at around 2 o clock last night me Tata and Ayu went outside and took a lot of pictures.. So fun.. Snowfighting and (tried to) made snowman. The pic was funny and a little bit crazy.. We even slept on the snow!

Roses

2005-02-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Even though you'd need a golden calculator to divide...... The time it took to look inside and realize... Real girl go for real down to Mars boy....
u probably recognize this line by Outkast, Roses. Just luv this song :) hahahha.. nothing to write.. but still wanna add somethin in my blog. Haven't update this blog for a very2 long time. Think I want to change the skin too sometimes later.

mijn nieuw nederlands les

2005-01-26T13:39:00.000-08:00

hmph.......... finally.. exams are all finish. I got a week official holiday from school. But unfortunately, during this holiday I've become very busy with work, nederlands course, ID card (again !!) and my new so called boyfriend. Generally, I enjoy my Nederlands course, the class r great, i enjoy the lesson, also the challenge that I found, my classmates are all speak dutch, we speak basic dutch, and we understand each other quite well, the teacher can't speak english (at all), which makes it more interesting, it's just like self study, whenever one of us can't understand, the teacher even ask the other student to help explain it in english. oh man can u imagine.. It's just funny sometimes. The school was a bit old, or classic i might say.. well as an illustration, just imagine harry potter school. dark, old, and antique. overal.. ik vind dat de nederlands lesen was wel interesant.. beitje moeilijk maar ik zal het proberen =)

how gemini i am

2005-01-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

You are 73% Gemini>

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

2005-01-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

New year's eve @ dam

happy new year.. happy new life..

2005-01-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day in 2005. This year, I'm going to be 20 years old. When I think about that, I'm getting a bit scared.. For I am now, see no future at all. I am absolutely clueless about the upcoming year.. what will happen next, internship.. graduation, work..... and on life itself.
When I look back, I see myself as a naive childish person. And now I think to myself that I need to change, to be more like grown up adult. I am not a girl, but I am now a woman..(well, nearly).
Below is my new year resolution's list.
1. Have to keep the room and house clean and neat everyday.. everytime.
2. Have to be more organized (homeworks, appointments, classes, gym. etc.,)
3. I won't sleep too much
4. I won't shop too much. (only window shopping I promise)
5. Can't think about anything else. Should continue with the list later on..

I wish you guys have a wonderful and peaceful new year!!! Also my hope and prayer for the victims of tsunami disaster in Asia, and their families.

one day babu

2004-12-23T02:43:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy. Just finished cleaning up the kitchen, and house basically. From 2 p.m till 2 a.m. Can you believe that?? I didn't believe it myself. The stupid thing, after we're done with the house, Dita asked me to help her dyed her hair. I said later on tonight. She said when? Now is 2 o clock in the morning... No, I said now it's 8 o clock. No, it's 2. We go on and on, until I saw my laptop's clock. omg.. it was really 2 o clock. You know that our clock in the living room is so small, lol...... so it's not totally my fault well, anyway.. it was a big acomplishment (for us). Hm.. sometimes we, girls, can be quite lazy, or just too busy to manage the house properly. Now on, our house as clean as bapak's house, cleaner than ever before, and it'd create a better everyday life for all of us. Ok... I'm exaggerating a bit, I can't help it.. For guest, please leave compliment !! no.. I'm just kidding :)

new post

2004-12-17T09:33:00.000-08:00

Just came back from Amsterdam. I hate this weather.. I hate the darkness outside. Makes me wanna stay at home and just sleep.. forever.. lol. I hate this loneliness.. I hate the fact that I miss someone.. (not again!!!!). Ok stop it..
I know that it's christmas time.. and I should be grateful for all I have now, for what I've become now... And plzzzz .... stop complaining (just reminder for myself). Come on this is christmas... OMG.. now I feel guilty again... I forgot to vast,.. as you probably know.. we're christian supposed to vast every wednesday or so.. I totally forgot it... God please forgive me. But I do remember it now.. so, hopefully.. I will be able to do it starting next week :)
love, peace, and God bless u all..

old n frustated

2004-11-23T01:50:00.000-08:00

It's funny how at some points, we all suddenly become grown up people. Mature, adult, grown up, old?? I hope not. Just yesterday I talked to my bestfriend in germany, and now he'll start work in an office as next year, and I told him that I will start my internship next year as well. omg.. can't never imagine him to work in an office.. I met him when I was in junior high school. We were all very small (?) pure, happy, no worries at all. And now, suddenly.. we are already become 2 grown up people. Instead of chatted about movies and saturday's night out.. we chatted about future plan. How cool is that ?!
Well, I tell you.. it isn't! sometimes it's frustating, sometimes u feel tired of bulshitting to others about ur abilities n skills in cv. it's like u wanna sell urself, and never get back to the real you.
all these worries about work, part time work.. internship.. thanks to our pd teacher.. where would I go from this point.. will probably change my life forever.

yuni n ov

2004-11-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

me n my lovely ov. hm.. just went to amsterdam for 4 dagen in a row.. donderdag, vrijdag, zaterdag, en zondag.. spent so much money on unimportant stuff.. so tired en got kinda flu.. who's to blame now?? I clearly don't wanna blame myself. lol.. It's all because of my lovely ov.. takes me touring amsterdam these 4 days. Well, now that I'm broke (really..!) I promise myself don't wanna go to Amsterdam no more !! lol.. (at least for a few weeks). My assignments still lay quitely on my desk.. hmphhhhhh sleepy.. sleepyhead..:: U gotta do some of those homework.. now!....... life oh f***ing life.. ENJOY!

i hate u

2004-11-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

Why care for a small tiny little thing when I still have whole big life to take care of.My own life would be just perfectly fine without it. I'm done with it. And I think I'll be better of without it.

Well, I hope so. This is the perscription that I made for all girls out there who just broken hearted. Read above paragraph at least ten times everyday, preferrably in the morning after u wake up.Those sentences not just motivating, but it'll encourage u to get completely better new life without "it". Gud luck girls.. (wish me luck also).

2004-10-31T16:08:00.000-08:00

sama vicky-mel-abang tukang sate.. sapa yah namanya?

2004-10-31T09:53:00.000-08:00

Baju daerah Indonesia

!...........whatever..........!

2004-10-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

Whatever..
by Oasis

I'm free to be whatever i
Whatever i choose
And i'll sing the blues if i want

I'm free to say whatever i
Whatever i like..even if it's wrong or right

Free to be whatever you
Whatever you say
If it comes my way it's alright

You're free to be wherever you
Wherever you please
You can shoot the breeze if you want

It always seem to me
You only see what people want you to see
How long it's gonna be..?

I'm tired of it already.. always hearing about others' opinion and judges..sometimes I wish I'm deaf.. it's like they know me even better than I know myself.. So I say it once again.. let's just be whatever we choose to be.. Believe me.. everything's gonna be just fine.

blogger oh blogger

2004-10-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

well, now it's doggie again.....horreeeeeey! ok, this is stupid.. i have nothing to do tonite.. instead of tons of homework of course. I changed my blog skin like 5 times already.. hm.. maybe next time i'll learn some html language or whatever. At home with Dita tonight, and by the way she's still obsessed with her blog until now. U have to see her blog, it's puerrfect. So I'll just update my blog as well. let's start with curly story, just recently I perm my hair.. and now, everytime I wake up I'll stand in front of mirror for approximately 5 minutes (which I consider quite normal, since I have to make myself get used to my new messy hair).
ok, let's move on.. me and ayu, my housemate, we got a voluntary job in de diem ( I also doing one for the youth community in my church, Seeds of hope). Basically, we have to do survey about elder people in diemen, this project will also include finding out relevance statistic about elder people, making the questionnaire, distributing it, analyzing the result, giving suggestion, recommendation about the market strategy based on that. U know what.. I'll just making this stuff up. actually we haven't do anything about this project.. maybe i'll do it later when i'm in a better mood.
Next, tomorrow.. It's time to get traditional and all culture conscious.. yes yes .. no kidding.. tomorrow I'm going to dress on kebaya or maybe sarung (it's indonesian traditional clothes). This event will be held in van der mader weg.. by the christian community in amstelveen (dita's church). U know one thing I always admire about Dita's church.. It's the food... omg.. so heerlijk..in every occasion.. there will always be tante2 cooking indonesian traditional food.. makes me miss home even more.

Feeling so depressed

2004-10-24T05:43:00.000-07:00

No of times feeling like a useless human creature: more than 10. N0 of time considering to do suicide: 1 (it crossed my mind just now). Grreat !

Well, everything just feels so wrong at this moment. I wanna shout it loud to them, I don't wanna be judged. I don't need people to tell me what to do. Only God can judge me. This is my life, If you don't like it, get out! So tired now, better get some sleep. This evening my classmates will come over. Starring "The Styler", he just back from UK, and we'll have a crazy UNO night.

Can you keep a secret?

2004-10-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

Can you keep a secret.. I wannabe ur ideal.. I wannabe close to you. I'm not superwoman.. Can you keep a secret..?

new entry

2004-05-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

new diary, sempat2nya sih aku bikin ginian, padahal besok aku dah final exam. hiks.. hiks
pusing kepala n nggak tau mesti ngapain.